“Our Word for 2010 – Harmony!” (evaluate)

Our year began, not with the traditional making of resolutions, but with our family making a new habit. The idea came from some family friends of ours. Each year, they set family goals both collectively and individually. And we thought it was a cool idea! After talking with Father God and reflecting on the needs of our house, Ron and I decided that a great family goal for the Hagan’s this year would be: HARMONY. As we asked for it, Father God gave this word to us. And as we have studied the Bible and the idea of “Harmony,” we have some great words for you as well.

“I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may by no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” 1 Corinthians 1:10

If we are agreeing with each other, harmony should exist, right?! Sounds like it fits, but there is a problem. We have a whole lot of disagreeing in our home! The Hagan family needs some answers: How are we going to agree if we all have opinions and want our way when we want it? Inevitably, as I imagine there is in your home, there is a moment in our house everyday when we are all headed in different directions, and “crazy” resides. So, we need to understand what this “agreeing” looks like?

As I looked at the meaning of this word, I felt I found the answer in the King James Version. In this version, it doesn’t say “agree,” it says “speak the same thing.” This makes much more sense, because as we have walked through the word “harmony” in our house this year, we have said these important words to Maya, Ada and Carson:

Harmony does not mean the absence of conflict.
We will have conflict.
We will all want different things at different times.
But in the midst of the “disagreeing,” we can still show love and respect.
We can still “speak the same thing.”
We can speak love and still disagree.
We can speak respect and still disagree.
We can speak humility and still disagree.

So, as you think about “agreeing with one another” in your house, lose the image of a conflict-free zone. Anticipate the conflict, remind everyone who they are and to use your words. Provide a safe place for different ideas but demand that in the midst of different directions, we “speak the same thing.” We speak love, respect and humility in this house. I believe you will bear moments of harmony in your house as a result. The Hagan’s are counting on it for this year!

Our “Harmony” verse for the year is 1 Peter 3:8-9, and it too has some great ideas for your family on working out this idea of “agreeing with one another.” I believe these are just more ways you can “speak the same thing” in the midst of the conflict.

“Finally all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil for evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

Family Conversation

1. As a family, read the verses before 1 Corinthians 1:10 and write down all the gifts that you are given so that you can “speak the same thing.”
2. As a family, describe your top 3 conflicts. What are the recurring disagreements? How can you “speak the same thing” in this conflict and make a plan?

Family Adventure
1. During your next conflict, try this. Stop and say of these things – “We are in conflict. I want this (describe), and you want this (describe). Without emotion, we are going to make a plan. But first, we commit to one another; we ‘speak the same thing.’ We speak love and respect. We are the (your last name) family, and we have his grace, his strength and his calling. We are a family after Father God’s heart.” Get agreement from all parties. Then, talk through some plans for this conflict.
2. Don’t laugh, just give it a try. There is such power in naming the conflict, remembering who you are, committing to one another and creating a plan. Pray over this for your family!