“The Chickadee and 2 Samuel 22”

My home is a mess!

Three days of handy men traipsing in and through my house has left it in one crazy state! We had new windows put in the kids’ rooms. They also re-caulked (is that a word?!) the bathtub, replaced the kitchen faucet, painted the hallway and Carson’s entire room for that matter, fixed the door frame that had been broken in a “time out gone bad” (that is a story for another time!!) and a few other things that now I have already forgotten. The invoice coming will be sure to remind me. Needless to say, I want nothing more than to get at my house with my handy swiffer, new vacuum and Clorox wipes. Ron even so beautifully volunteered to take the kids to school this morning. I love how he sees me!!!! He knew that I wanted nothing more than time to reclaim “my nest” and in a hurry!!!! But Father God had other things on his mind. In the time it took for me to eat my cereal and drink half my cup of coffee, he sent a chickadee, a sentence in a book, a phone call from Ron and a verse in the Bible to get my attention.

And so I yield to His greater story and the conversation that ensued, but I will tell you that I am not so happy about it. The vacuum is screaming at me from the other room; my to-do list is unbearable in its demands on my time. My need for incessant order and my flesh pattern of control are constant villains in the fight. I only have a few hours before I pick up the kids from school???? And I don’t want to take time to write all of this down and then figure out how to share it with you people! I am so technologically challenged. BUT there is a greater story beyond all of this. And I am listening! So, here it goes.

I had grabbed my journal and Bible as I sat down at the table for my quick breakfast. I randomly opened the Bible to 2 Samuel 22, and my eyes were drawn to a squiggle I had written next to these verses:

“You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.” 2 Samuel 22:29-37

I think about the God Cards that Father and I write for Maya, Ada and Carson.

It is a list of 42 pictures of who God is, and I see right off in these verses.

Father God is my nightlight (#28).

Father God is my fort (#15).

Father God is a warrior (#42).

Father God has “no mess-ups” (#29).

But my favorite picture from the verses is: Father God “stoops down.” I love the visual of Father humbling Himself to be near me in my place of need. I then try to reconcile this truth with my details. In my world, I have some darkness, some hills to climb, some mess-ups, and weakness for sure.

I am missing my friend who died a few months ago. One of the kids found a picture of us, and it has been on the table in the living room for a few days. I keep seeing her beautiful face as I pass by each time. I am heartbroken for a friend of a friend who lost her baby just a few weeks from delivery yesterday. I am overwhelmed with only a few more days of school left and so much that needs to be done before the summer begins. I am heavy with the money we just spent on the remodelling needs in our home. It is always twice as much as you think it will be. I am sad for an argument that Maya and I had right before bed last night and that she went to sleep with tears in her eyes. And of course, I am stricken with the layers of sawdust and dirt in my home.

How is Father God going to help me scale these walls?? If he is “stooping down,” how is he strengthening my arms and training my hands?? Where in the heck is the shield, because mine is not working!! And when is he going to flip on the switch in the midst of all of this darkness?!?! I am still feeling pain and discomfort. Isn’t that part of the deal?!

After a long sigh, I look out the window. On the birdbath is a little chickadee trying to get some water. She is so small that she can’t reach the water. I notice her processing the problem and remaining ruthless in her attempts. She begins straining her neck trying to get at her refreshment but to no avail. She then realizes that if she will take a few steps down the incline of the birdbath, she could reach the water, but it is not easy and she keeps falling forward, catching herself and moving back to the safe edge. But she really wants that water, and so she keeps leaning in, taking those difficult steps forward in her persistence to reach her prize. I celebrate her bravery and strength and just loved watching her finally sip that water. And I hear Father say, “Do the same, sweet girl. Do the same. Lean in. Yep, the slippery slope is there. Pain, grief, hurt – all still present in your details. Yep, you can always retreat to the safe edge. But don’t miss it. There is a prize for you there in the middle of it all. Lean in.”

I then took a few moments to read some from The Shack by William Young. In the few paragraphs that I read this morning, I came upon these words:

“What if . . . . ? Mack knew that this was indeed a very deep fear that he lived with. It felt safer to continue to throw new lies on the growing pile of old ones. ‘Ah, that is the risk of faith, Mack. Faith does not grow in the house of certainty’” (189).

In a matter of a week, Father God had brought this idea of faith and its requirements of risk to Ron and I in several different ways. These experiences this morning were just more of the same! Random, seemingly unrelated, but we are always taking notice and listening. He chooses to speak through most anything. Even a book that some of you find heretical????? And I am not talking about the Bible.

But, here’s the main deal.  I believe the Bible. I believe that Father God is each of those attributes in 2 Samuel 22. I have seen him behave that way in the past, and I remember. And I believe that he calls me to a place of faith. It will not be certain. It will require my risk. Like the chickadee, I must “lean in,” even down a slippery slope to reach the prize, a relationship of rest with him. There are answers for each of my questions, answers beyond my feelings and desires for “pain-free” living. He never promised the “pain-free” living part, but He did promise the water!

“To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.” Revelation 21:6

“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:9

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters. Give ear, and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.” Isaiah 55:1, 3

I choose today to “lean in” to a belief that Father God has got all of this. None of my issues are a surprise to him. I can let go of the angst, embrace the pain, believe in his provision and drink the water!

Love all of you! And praying the same for you!

 

For your own conversation:

After talking through these verses with him, what does Father say to you?

What are your present issues on the table?

What are your questions for him?

If you are the chickadee, what are you doing?